Sunday, October 14, 2012

Masks and Music

Hello lovelies!

Thank you all SOOOOO much for the warm welcome back!

I've had a long perusal of all of your bloggities and am feeling so refreshed and inspired right now.

I've noticed that my past 5 or so posts have been tagged with "serious stuff".

Today is no different.

Just sharing some thoughts, and some art of course :)

The truth is, I feel like I've been wearing a mask.


And so does she:


And Orlagh has now got a mask as a face!  Remember her from this post?


She now stands guard on my room.

Anywho, back to my mask wearing.  I feel as though I portray the wrong image sometimes.  As though I'm perfect, or a goodie two shoes.  I'm NOT.  I make mistakes every day.  Some very painful ones, some that have hurt others, some that have hurt myself.

The only thing I can do is try and live every day a little bit better for myself and for the people I love.  Hope for the best but expecting the worst (a little Forever Young for ya there).

The truth is, I'm not the same person I was at the beginning of the summer.  And I can't pretend to be.

I've seen rough stuff now, and I haven't decided if I'm better or worse for it.

I'm still ME, don't you worry, I just haven't quite figured out the lessons I'm meant to have learned yet, or what the new normal is.

GROWING UP IS HARD!  I realize now how sheltered my life was in going to a performing arts high school.

And to be really really honest, I haven't visited this place in a while...


It's comforting just to know that it's there.  Waiting for me.

That's not to say I haven't created though.  Care to take a listen?


                

I'm a country music singer now :)

So goodbye masks,


Hello world.  Facing reality optimistically, with a little bit of gallivanting to fantasy land whenever I can.


Perfectly imperfect.  

Lots of love to all of you,

Jenn

17 comments:

Prudence Puddleduck said...

The trick is to never Quite growup, and please dont be so hard on yourself....life is yours..I couldnt see the link or ? to hear your music...dumb duck. Your pic is stunning, be true to YOU...♥Debi

Melanie Statnick said...

I love iT!! Did you learn to play that guitar? and your voice has a beautiful folksy country mood. Pure Canadian. I like seeing your masks in your pictures I like those masquerade masks as well.
Sometimes we have to go through something first hand in order to learn the lesson. I see you came through and I think you have learned what you were suppose to , not matter how small the lesson. Good to see your taking time to figure yourself out. Growing up is difficult. I hear it in my step daughters voice when she talks on the phone frm college. She's about one year older then you. You'll do more growing in your 20's then any other time I say. Now that i'm near my mid 30's I couldnt be happier. I'm glad I went through what I did from 19 to 29. I saw something on FB from a guy I used to date when I was 18. Answered the question I had for years. Insted of being shocked or angry over something nearly 20 years ago I felt great. I thank ppl like him,I would have never been this successful if i was still with pple like that. I'm a better me without them. XOX Bluebird

Prudence Puddleduck said...

Okay! I figured it out and now I heard your wonderful music!!! Oh Jenne you keep following your heart young miss, in your own beautiful way...♥Debi

Queenie Believe said...

You have a beautiful voice and this lastest recording certainly confirms it.
Growing up is hard and even at my age it continues to have its challenges. I say that not as a negative but as a truth. I have found that being honest with yourself and your most inner you is key. Asking for forgivness when needed and timely forgiving others yet never forgetting and learning but putting to rest hurts that do nothing but nag. Most important is forgiving self and falling back into love with yourself. Its a cycle it seems. I know first hand that creative people are much more sensitive than other folks out there. We have to carefully guard our hearts when pushing through those yucky parts of life and encounters with damaging situtations and folks so we can continue and truly enjoy the wonderous things in life when our hearts sing.
Have a great day.
Always, Queenie
Have a great day.

Jessica said...

I love this post. It's so YOU! Your voice gave me chills, just so you know. In a very good way. And in your last picture you look like Snow White :) So beautiful! Is that knitted wear I spy? How cold is it for you guys down there in Ontario? In Cali, it's still in the 80s, to progress up to the 90s soon....NOOOOOOO! I hate summer!

I'm so glad that the masks can come off and and that you really know who you are, or are at least beginning to. Now me, I have a long way to go on that journey...and I'm sorry about the struggles you've had recently, and maybe they aren't good or bad--maybe they will just help you build as a person. I hope so.

Looking forward to Halloween! I can't wait to see what you've concocted for the party...I think I already said that, but it's true.

Did I mention I'm taking a photography class this year? It's really fun, and we learned a ton of cool stuff on photoshop as well as effects you can do with the camera itself, so I hope to improve my picture taking for blogging, and especially for the Halloween party.

Hugs and hexes!!!!

Rachel said...

I'd have to agree with Melanie, you definitely do most of your growing up in your 20s. Now I'm in my early 30s it's definitely settled down a bit but I'm no way done with growing yet, doubt I'll ever be.

All you can do is be true to yourself and give yourself the love and respect you deserve.

These mistakes are what makes us human.

xx

Jo said...

Growing up never ceases to be hard, no matter how many years you advance; it all works out in the wash as it's supposed to, eventually, and we & things change with time. It's all good :o) Albeit it a bit maddening & overwhelming at times! Glad you're back!

A Magical Whimsy said...

Hi, Jenn
I left a really long post and Blogger was being a pain and it didn't post.
Oh, well.
You have a lot of charisma of the creative kind. Art Saves is over at CRESCENDOH with Jenny Doh. There are a lot of stories of how artists were saved by their creativity.
Anyway, I have enjoyed your blog. You will do fine.
Thank you for being honest and open-hearted, a very lovely quality to protect your heart with.
hugs,
Teresa in California
http://amagcialwhimsy.blogspot.com/
I hope this one gets accepted by Blogger!

A Magical Whimsy said...

P.S.
Vanessa Valencia has a couple of new posts on her 'Through the Secret Keyhole' blog...thought you'd like to know as you enjoy her 'secret blog as much as I do!

Sara {Snövits äpple} said...

Jennifer, we should live closer to each other! We would have such nice days together thrifting, having craft evenings and cooking fancy dinners :)

I know so much how it feels to change- I can identify with you when you write that you are not the same person that you were at the beginning of the summer. Last year I went through something like that too. I really changed my life, my life really changed. I am so glad for these changes although it was painful too

Sara xxx

Donna Patrice from Joyfully Donna said...

Hello Beautiful! Your song gave me chills - such a lovely voice and such a poignant song. Ah,yes - growing up is so hard. The 20s are a time of "growing pains" so to speak - discovering who you are deep down and there is always a bit of angst with that. Guess what? Growing older is the same, as I'm discovering! As I near my 50s (eek! Did I just say that???) I am discovering a "new" me (again), as well. It is almost a mirror of my late teens and early 20s, only with a little more wisdom to guide me. Lol! I understand the need to take a break and waiting for when it feels "right" to come back - I am in that phase right now. I'm so glad you are back to blogging - I've missed you! Can't wait to see what you have planned for the Halloween Party!

goddessof4 said...

Wow, you have a beautiful voice!!!!!! I also love your new look!!!!! You are such a beautiful young lady inside and out!!!! Keep shining!!! Blessings,Sara

Treehugger_31 said...

That's the thing about life. You'll never stop making mistakes. The important thing is to learn from them and allow yourself to move on.

I'm glad you're not "perfect". Perfect is just so boring, don't ya think? ;)

Lovely post!

lvroftiques said...

Girl is there anything you can't do?...I'm thinking "NO" is the answer *winks* I'm hoping you're thinking that too. Beautiful job with the song. Sad, but so beautiful. Ahhhhhh growing pains. I wish I could tell you they eventually stop, so far no luck though, and I'm way down that road from you. So just sway with the winds and try not to leave that creative nook of imagination alone for too long.

And to answer your question, Yes I am going to the VV every week! I'm such a creature of habit *winks* And yes it has been crazy busy, but I'm still finding such great treasures. I think while everyone else is looking for Halloween costumes I'm hitting the tiques! I have felt a couple of times that I needed a bullhorn to get through some of the isles.
Next week I'm featuring what I consider to be some of my best finds ever from the VV. I think you're gonna like them...they really do have your name on them...you'll see what I mean *winks* Vanna

lvroftiques said...

Jennifer I use apple leather care cleaner and it does take off lots of the grime. You'll never have pristine vachetta again, but I've gotten used to dark handles *winks*
I think your were one lucky little ducky carrying that bag in HS! I would've been green with envy! I was in my 20's before I got mine. Do you still have it? The resale on them is great! I would almost NEVER buy from LV (Fiercely expensive I agree)It's so much cheaper to buy on the secondary market and the hunt is most of the fun for me *winks* I found my LV steamer trunk at a garage sale for $50 I think it's worth about 4k. It was one of my best finds ever! Vanna

Heather said...

Welcome back! And what a lovely magical space you have! I know you've had a rough time, and it's so hard to see the point of it when you're in the middle of it-- but you will look back on these times and know that they made you grow in really important ways. Prepared you for something big--- perhaps something amazing and wonderful-- that you wouldnt otherwise be ready for without it. So take this time to heal, to get to know yourself, and find out who the real you is. Life is an adventure, and you are just starting out!

Cameron said...

Wow! That pic above is just stunning! I didn't realize your hair was so long when I saw you the other day....

Ah, Jenn.....I have a feeling you're going to get everything you want in Life....it's just not going to happen overnight or with a few bumps....but, you have the confidence of knowing who you are, which is half the battle right there :)

Much love,
Cam